


Two Timelords walk into a bar

by Snackleggg



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst and Humor, Complicated Relationships, Discussion of Regeneration (Doctor Who), Drinking & Talking, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Hangover, Hijinks & Shenanigans, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idiots in Love, Its just ginger ale, Post-Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, Thoschei, Time Lord Telepathy (Doctor Who), Unresolved Emotional Tension, but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28600101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snackleggg/pseuds/Snackleggg
Summary: It wasnt like she wasnt expecting this.It always happened.Eventually her companions wouldnt need their silly Doctor and the travels of the universe. They would move on (or die) and she would always get left behind.This time though when she goes to a bar to drown her loneliness in ginger she meets an old best enemy and they learn through drunken shenanigans that maybe they have misinterpreted the others actions.... alot.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	1. A universe full of coincidences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if they are kind of OOC. I've never written these two interacting before

The Doctor didnt drink 'traditional' alcoholic beverages but the Doctor did indeed drink ginger ale and always got stupidly drunk. She had managed to avoid getting drunk for the last few centuries but sometimes you just need to sit down and drown your sorrows in some good cheap ginger ale.

The bar the Doctor went to was located on a moon in the 77th century. It could've passed as a normal earth bar if it hadn't been for the very non human customers and staff. The main things the Doctor liked about this bar was that the drinks were all very cheap and no one was ever nosey, everyone kept to themselves and despite having visited the bar many times the Doctor still didnt even know the name of the bartender and she wanted to keep it that way. To keep the fact that at this bar she wasnt The On Coming Storm or The Great Destroyer or whatever other titles she had been given, she was just a stranger having a drink.

It seemed to be a slow day when she came in.

She ordered her ginger ale and when she got it she sat down in a booth in one of the far corners. The air of the bar was rustic and calming. This was one of the few places the Doctor could really relax, even when in her TARDIS she was always tinkering and stressing over whether she landed a few years too late or too early.

Now she could just be in peace, no big disaster or invasion to make her jump into action.

~~~

That could've gone decidedly better.

The Master puts alot of effort into his schemes but the preparation doesnt always go according to plan and at the end of the day only a fraction of the Master's schemes have made it far enough for the Doctor to see and usually she never notices how much effort he puts into them.

The months of manipulation behind Saxon, the years of building the right tech for the undead cyberman army and the amount of patience that went into his O facade and she still never takes notice!

He had been preparing one of his schemes but something went wrong, one of his underlings started a revolution before he noticed and now he will have to come up with a whole new scheme.

The Master stumbled into the bar because right then all he wanted was some ginger ale and then to sleep for the next few days. After ordering his drink and getting it he looked around for an empty place to sit. It wasn't busy by any means but he had alot of enemies and didn't want to risk sitting somewhere too exposed.

His sights landed on a booth in the corner that only had one person. He quickly made his way over and sat down across from them. He wasn't paying attention, mostly just thinking about what the Doctor was doing now. She was probably running around showing her pets the universe because she always was.

"Wait- what-" a familiar voice said and the Master looked up at the person he was sitting across.

Where had she come from? Had she been sitting there before? How did he not notice it was her? And many thoughts similar ran through the Master's head as he and the Doctor had an unintentional staring contest. Both wide eyed and surprised by the other being there.

Of course. Of course the Master had to end up at the only bar she drank at, of course he had to have sit down across from her without realising it was her. That's just his kind of luck.

"What are you doing here?" The Doctor asked after a pause.

"Same as you, drowning my misery in some ginger ale" The Master answered, noticing the Doctor also had a ginger ale.

"Your clothes are singed, one of your schemes blew up in your face?" The Doctor said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yep. Your pets aren't around, they finally leave.... or die?" The Master asked even though the Doctor's expression told him everything.

"Yeah, they moved on. Not dead" The Doctor clarified and the Master nodded while looking down into his drink.

"To our shit lives?" The Doctor said while raising her drink.

"To our shit lives" the Master also raised his drink in acknowledgement.

~~~

"You know" the Doctor said after her third drink "your schemes are pretty great"

"Hm?" The Master had zoned out halfway through the Doctor's explanation of why the word 'milk' was a swear in 3 different galaxies. He was startled by the sudden change in topic.

"I mean you've used Cybermen like three times now but each time you manage to reinvent them and if you weren't actively murdering everyone I bet you would get alot more recognition for that skill" The Doctor continued when he didn't reply.

"Oh... well you never complimented my schemes before, I thought you hadn't noticed" The Master said, very aware how surreal it was that he was having a drink with the Doctor without them trying to murder eachother.

"Of course I noticed! I just wish you put that creativity into somethin' else. Like art! I remember you used to draw a bunch back at the academy" The Doctor said with a smile.

"Might do that" The Master mumbled.

"Oh! Oooooh question!" The Doctor said a little louder than she needed to.

"Shoot" The Master said.

The Doctor's nose scrunched up adorably as she made a confused face "Why would I shoot? You know I don't like shooting people" She asked and the Master was torn between laughing and sighing.

"No I mean ask the question" He clarified.

"Oh right. Why were you so angry when you found out 'bout the timeless child? Surely you of all people would be happy at my suffering?" The Doctor asked. What little filter she had was already beaten into the dirt by the ginger.

"No. Of course not" the Master said, starting to become confused.

"But you're always attacking earth and plotting my death" She pointed out.

"Most of the time I'm just tryin' to get your attention you know" He answered.

"You could just call me...." She suggested.

"No, it needs to be a grander gesture" He said after a moment of contemplating.

"Okay but don't hurt my friends.... I'm still mad 'bout Bill" the Doctor said as she got up to go get another drink.

The Master didn't have any witty come back. He just sat there in thought.

When the Doctor came back with 4 more drinks he didn't complained as 2 were handed to him.

"Okay, now I've got a question" He said while taking a sip of the ginger ale.

The Doctor nodded.

"How come you never gave up on Missy?" The Master asked and the Doctor took a long sip of her drink before she answered.

"Because I cared 'bout her" She said like it was the simplest fact of life.

"Do... do you still care? About me?" He dared to ask. The ginger ale was making all the walls he built to keep out emotions weak but he was too tired to care.

"Course! You're my best enemy! And friend, and basically everything. I'm still pissed about the whole destroying Gallifrey thing but I'm more pissed by that stupid look you get" She said and now the Master was properly confused.

"What look?" He asked.

"Ya know! The look. When you're having fun but not in a crazy murdery kind of way, in a genuine kind of way. The way you genuinely seem to be enjoying yourself without the suffering of others like when we used to talk in the vault or how you weren't taking being the Doctor seriously when we first arrived on that ship. When you have that look I could almost mistake you for the old you" The Doctor explained.

"The old me?" He asked even though he already knew the answer.

"Koschei" She answered before taking a big swig of her drink.

It was strange hearing the name after so long. A small part of himself was hurt by how that name represented a time long gone, a friendship that had turned into rivalry before becoming bitter enemies. Sometimes the Master wondered what would have happened if he had followed the Doctor, if he had followed Theta and they had run away when they were younger instead of wasting the rest of their first lifetime on Gallifrey. Constantly restricted by rules and obligations they didn't ask for.

He got lost in his thoughts again, wondering about what ifs and alternate universes where they hadn't drifted apart. Without realising it he had at some point started tapping the four beats on the table.

The Master was suddenly startled from his thoughts when the Doctor put her hand over his tapping one.

She gave him a unreadable look, maybe many lifetimes ago he would've been able to decipher it but not anymore.

Then she started rambling about the terrible pancakes made on some planet he didn't catch the name of. He wasn't annoyed by her ramblings, he could listen to her go on and on for centuries.

Neither took notice that she never removed her hand from where it was on top of his.


	2. Drunk on you

"We are soooo wasted" The Doctor slurred.

She had lost track of how long they had been in the bar together and how many drinks they both had, she just knows it was alot.

"Who's fault is that now?" The Master asked.

"Both of ours!" She said a little too loudly. The bar was now much busier than when they had come in but neither really cared if they got a few odd stares, both in their little bubble where nothing existed except them in the small booth with their ginger ale.

At some point the Doctor had moved from sitting across from the Master to sitting next to him. She didn't really remember when but at some point he had also put his arm over her shoulder.

She knew that at first she had been trying to be some what cautious about the Master but as they had more ginger ale things had gotten more relaxed and she now couldn't think of a single reason why she shouldn't be as close to him as possible.

"You know what's annoying" The Master said after a small comfortable silence between the two when she may or may not have noticed him staring at her from her peripheral vision.

"What?" She asked as she turned to face him more properly.

"You're always pretty. No matter the regeneration you always look amazing! How do you do that?" He asked while staring at her like he could find the answer somewhere in her features.

"You're one to talk! Missy was so pretty! How did you even walk in those heels, I never managed that" She said with a smile as she remembered how put together Missy had been with her perfect dress and amazing make up.

"Ooh, were none of my other regenerations good looking?" He asked with no real accusation.

"They were okay. I think you looked very handsome in your first body but afterwards you almost always had a stupid beard" She said, glancing down at his current beard.

"Does my beard look stupid now?" He asked with a smirk.

"No. Suits this body" She said, her stare lingering and briefly switching to his lips before she turned forward to take another long sip from her drink.

~~~

"Hey. Heeeeeeyyyy" The Doctor patted the Master's arm as he slowly lifted his head from where it had been resting on the table.

"What?" He bit out, the drinking was really taking it's toll on him now and the exhaustion from earlier was making itself known again.

"Those guys have been glaring at you while muttering to eachother, did you piss them off at some point?" The Doctor said while pointing to group of blue skinned beetle like aliens across the bar who were indeed glaring right at the Master.

His brain was groggy but he distantly recognised them as part of a criminal group he had killed the leader of because they had pissed him off.

"Yeaaaaah, we should probably go" The Master said while making a futile attempt to stand but his heavily intoxicated self plus the Doctor leaning most of her weight on him resulted in him staggering and almost falling over before he got his balance and helped the Doctor up.

"My TARDIS is parked 'round the corner. We can go there" The Doctor said as she managed to stand with minimal stumbling.

"Buy a guy a drink first" The Master said with a sly smirk.

"I did, several in fact" The Doctor said but she couldn't suppress the fit of giggles that escaped her.

They made their way out of the bar and the Master was distantly aware that the Doctor was still holding onto him like a life line and that he wasn't really opposed to it. He was also aware that the group of aliens that had been glaring at him were also coming out of the bar.

"I think we might need to-" He could hear the cocking of a gun behind them "run!"

Along with running they had to duck as the group of aliens started firing at them.

The Master was taking the lead, he had always had a better ginger tolerance though he was still completely drunk but the Doctor was stumbling every few steps and he was really considering just picking her up into a bridal carry.

Finally they ducked around a few corners fast enough to give them the slip but he could hear them distantly shouting to search the area for him.

"Well... wasnt that nice" The Doctor said while breathing heavily next to him. He was also trying to catch his breath since he had never been as good at running as the Doctor.

"Lovely. Getting drunk with your best enemy and then getting chased by some criminals you pissed off, my favourite way to spend an otherwise lazy wednesday" Was it wednesday? Did this solar system even have the concept of a lazy wednesday? He really didn't know but he focused on that rather than how close the Doctor was pressed against him as they caught their breath.

"Always gotta be the best enemy huh?" The Doctor said out of nowhere. There was something in her voice that let the Master know what she meant by it, just a hint of sadness and longing. The feeling was mutual but both were to stubborn to directly talk about it, even drunk.

The Master just settled with getting his breathing under control before checking around the corner. The coast looked clear but he knew there would still be some of them looking around for him. In his attempt to escape he lost sight of where the bar was and by extension where he had parked his TARDIS so it looked as if he would indeed be going to the Doctor's TARDIS until he was sure those enemies of his were all gone.

"Lead the way mister On Coming Storm sir.... ma'am" He corrected when she scrunched her nose up adorably. Honestly this regeneration was one of her most adorable ones, from the expressions all the way to her hand gestures and he couldn't help but mentally go over everything he found adorable about her as he followed behind her. Like making a mental check list and comparing it to her previous ones.

"He's here!" Came a yell from behind them and both Timelords shared a look before breaking out into a run down the street. They were still stumbling and they were both in a constant battle with gravity but they both managed.

Finally, after a few more turns, the blue box that had become the Doctor's trademark could be seen. The Master took a glance at his side and saw that the Doctor was grinning like a madman as they ran from their pursuers. Of course she was enjoying this, she had always loved running, or maybe she just didn't realise how close they were to getting shot as blasts were just barely missing them.

The Doctor snapped her fingers and the TARDIS doors immediately opened wide.

'When did she learn to do that?' was the only thought on the Master's mind which was really saying something about how drunk he was.

They both stumbled through the TARDIS doors and sensing the distress her pilot was in the TARDIS shut the doors immediately behind them.

The Doctor stumbled up to the console before slamming down the take off lever like her life depended on it, well maybe it did because the Master could hear the shouts of their pursuers still outside since they had obviously seen him go into the blue box.

Then as the TARDIS dematerialised into the vortex and their lives were no longer in danger the Master couldn't help but laugh. He laughed as he breathed heavily because everything was ridiculous in this one moment.

Standing in the Doctor's TARDIS, both of them incredibly not sober, both having just escaped alien criminal's that were trying to kill them. Everything was hilarious to the Master in that moment and it seemed the Doctor agreed as she joined him in his breathless laughing.


End file.
